TT Mama

So it finally happened. I ventured out into the world and proclaimed myself a trailer trash mom for the day. All I need to do is take up smoking and add three more toddlers under my arm and I am good to go to the trailer park.

Cris and I have been working on the bathroom (hence no new posts). We have tearing apart and fixing, venturing to home depot and planning. I will put up some photos of the before and after- even though it has nothing to do with Owen... Anyhoo...

I had to venture out to Home depot to pick up a few items (we make about 3 trips a day) for the reno. Too lazy to change, I went outside dressed in a paint stained shirt- but not quite stained enough to be obvious, just tacky. A pair of blue shorts that are just a bit too small- I bought them at the Value Village 50% off sale and thought I would easily lose a bit a weight to be able to wear them. Instead, everytime I sit down, the velcro pockets pop open. Really flattering- glad I could share. And to top it off, literally, a red Running room "Canada" hat. No makeup. No hair do. (Although I am a bit better today, on Thursday I ventured out with paint in my hair not realizing it.) Owen comes with me for a little trip. He is dressed to the heights as well. A too big onesie with red popsicle stains, vitamin D stain (that looks like brown slop, maybe like coke) and his diaper hanging out the leg holes. And no shorts. Oh yeah.

So we go through Home depot and after talking to two separate very helpful men, realized we didn't have to buy anything. Triumphant! I don't think that has ever happened. So to celebrate we go to the beer store. This is were it gets good.

I carry Owen in to the Beer store, shabby outfit, dirty baby and immediately grab a 12 pack of beer. In line, I attempt to balance the baby and the beer case. But I end up having to hold Owen across his belly instead of over my hip. Well baby and beer are heavy and I have to hunch over to hold them both. And I realize that to the outside eye, I look like I am so stuck on my case of beer that I refuse to put it down despite squishing my baby's organs. I felt oddly guilty for having a baby in a beer store. I loudly mentioned that the beer was a gift for "your father" so no one would be wondering what mother downs a box of beer with a dirty baby. At least the line was short and fast so I was able to take my baggage out to the car quickly. Thankfully the cashier didn't card me. I noticed a few people watch as I climbed in to my car, checking the car out for car seat and piled garbage in the back seat. At least we don't drive a total sh*t box.
If it weren't illegal, I would have cracked open one of those tasty cold beers and driven us home! But I can only imagine how well that would have gone over. That would have been the icing on my tiara and sash of trailer trash mama.