The lazy mom's promises

On the car ride to TO, I like to have a book on tape. Makes the time go a little faster then listen to the bad music Cris likes or fuzzy radio stations. For what ever reason this trip, I picked up "100 promises to my baby" by Mallika Chopra (daughter of Deepak Chopra). Yeah I know. It's like a bad horror movie: Your screaming at me "no don't look in the closet in your underwear. The guy with the mask is in there!" But being the dumb, half-naked girl who is the first to be offed by the bad guy, I open the closet any way. And 100 meditations that I couldn't possibly live up to are sprayed all over the walls.

Admittedly, some of the stories and traditional myths were really interesting. But for the most part, I was reminded that I a) don't have THAT much time on my hands and b) Owen is in deep trouble. Most of my promises to him are to not let him sit in a dirty diaper for longer then I can stand the smell, to ensure that most sharp objects are out of both of our reach and that I won't forget to pick him up from day care (mostly because I am sure I will get a reminder call if I do). But I thought maybe just maybe I could come up with a few on my own.

I managed six:

1) I promise to introduce you to people who will be able to teach you to skate, can help with math homework and conjugate French verbs. I have a few lined up so far, but the French verb one may take a while. So no matter my (or your father's) shortcomings, I promise to try and make up for them.

2) I promise to pick out only a modestly huge home in California when you go to play for the Raiders, or become a famous doctor or become a major lawyer. This also means I promise not to live with you again. But you have to pay for the house. Consider it pay back for the 50 cent weekly allowance.

3) I promise not to let you watch really scary movies that will scar you for life like "Return of the living dead", "Friday the 13th" and the complete Michael Jackson "Thriller" video. Trust me, you will thank me later. I still can't dance naked in a cemetery when it rains. (If you haven't seen "Return of the Living Dead", this comment is beyond you and you should probably ignore it.)

4) I promise to let you fall down, bump your head, make mistakes and pull headsets down on your head. I will try not to always catch you, or hold your hand or have all the answers. But I will always be behind you with hands out just in case. And I will keep bandaids in my back pocket with the hugs.

5) I promise to capture every bad hairstyle, outfit or girlfriend on film. We will make sure we video all awful band concerts, school dances and school plays. And then promptly bring the evidence out in front of all your cool friends.

6) I promise to smooth out any stray hairs with my spit, to buy you pants that are too short, force you to go to drugstores while I buy feminine products (or even worse condoms), I will wave at you as you step up to bat and scream your name and blow kisses and make comments about making "goals" so you can roll your eyes, I will make you wear a sweater your grandmother made with puffy sleeves and reindeer on it. I will take you to your first day of school- every single one, even university, and sob in front of your friends. I know you will tell me you hate my guts and I will try not to believe you. I will be stuck to you like glue every step of the way so that you know I am always watching and that I always love you.

That seems like some stuff I could do.